Fighting the pain...#wecrytoo

We’ve all been there - that awful feeling that tears are on their way, and you’re in a public place. 

When tears are coming, it’s often impossible to stop them. 

But here I was staring at his coffin, the love of my life, my protector is gone.

I am all alone Nelson Daniel (love you Dad 💖💖)

But it’s in the pain of losing you, we gave birth to NDK Flawless

We, humans, are complicated beings we might cry out of grief at a funeral for the death of a loved one, but also with elation at the birth of a newborn child.  Believe us, you are not the first person to cry in public –

Join the crying club with pride 

... and accept that it’s a natural human response to pressure, sad times…… joyful moments.

The emotions we experience at these moments are difficult to put into words and often go beyond “happy” or “sad.” Perhaps crying helps us to communicate what we’re feeling in a way that language cannot.

Even thugs cry

Sometimes we try to fight the pain…

We try to tell ourselves, what if we can dismiss or minimise these feelings, but all you have done is to make the job harder. You very rarely likely to succeed at making them stop anyway, and it’s more likely that you will need more support from within or around you in the future rather than less.

 If you don’t hear the message they are trying to send you, the messenger just gets louder and louder until you do.

  

Your pains are looking for empathy and understanding. If they don’t get it, they’ll keep trying.

Crying is ok. It’s a very healthy and necessary way for you to express your feelings, and we don’t need to make them stop. By telling them to ‘stop’ and be strong, you send yourself a conflicting signal that your feelings are not important, not valid, silly, and annoying.

You cannot be dismissive to your feelings when they try to surface.

It might seem trivial to you, but your emotions are what gives colour to your life. They enhance your perspective of the world. 

Oftentimes people struggle most with expressing their feelings in public, thinking that it is not an appropriate setting and worrying about other’s reactions or judgement.

How to ENCOURAGE OTHERS instead of saying … "stop crying"

 Accept what is, then let go.

When you accept what is, that this has happened then it becomes easier to let go.

Why? Because when you're still struggling in your mind against what has happened then you feed that memory or situation with more energy.

You make what someone said or did even bigger and more powerful in your mind than it might have been in reality.  By accepting that it simply has happened the issue or your memory of the situation becomes less powerful in your mind. 

You don’t feel as upset or sad about it as you did before. You become less emotionally attached to it.

And so it becomes easier to let go and for you to move on with your life.

…..because life is waiting for you.

Forgive.

If someone wrongs you then it will probably cause you to pain for a while. But after that, you have a choice.

You can refuse to let go of what happened. And instead let it interfere with your relationship and replay what happened over and over in your mind. Or you can choose to forgive.

First accepting what happened can be helpful to make it easier to forgive.

Find the motivation to forgive if not for them but for you own sake. 

Focus on what you CAN influence in your life.

By reliving what happened over and over in your mind you aren't really changing anything.

Unless you have a time-machine you don’t have any control over the past.

And being distracted or worried by things that you cannot control in your life in any way right now is a waste of energy.

Life is not always that neat. The issue or distraction might pop up again. Let it go, even when it pops.  Then let it go once more.

You will find that it pops up less and less frequently and it has less power over you.

Thank you so much for visiting.

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