Beyond expectations - conquering each day.

So the story goes somewhat like this...

Our dad always worked and always provided a nice home and furnishings. He always had a job and took care of all of our needs. But even though Dad took care of all the necessities of life he was and always has been emotionally unavailable.

As a child, all I ever wanted was his love, all I could think about was "Why can’t you think of me? Why can’t I win your heart and mind, fix the hole in your heart that is lacking the passion a father feels for his child."

Over the years I have had great difficulty in relationships because of my relationship with my dad. I never felt worthy of anyone’s love, so I remind cold.

I became the night's king. I'm more than happy to destroy anything on my path.

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But my story was different, but yet I'm also broken.

I look at my life and see all the ways I fell short—all those things I said I’d do but didn’t, all the expectations I had for myself that I never fulfilled. I see my weaknesses and frustratingly human frailty.

Up until recently, I hadn’t put my experience of losing my dad into writing that I shared with others. 

My dear daddy, I have so many wonderful memories of our relationship. I appreciate so much your sense of humour. Thank you also, daddy, for teaching me how to give. I have watched you and mother give to your family, your neighbours, your church, your friends, all my life. Your unselfishness inspires me.

Daddy thank you for always putting us first — you attended every school and church activity I was involved in. I loved it when I was growing up and thought all dads do this for their little girls. 
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 We humans break easily. And I’m not talking simply about bones.

Our feelings get hurt. Our self-esteem is fragile. We hurt each other with words and actions. Everyone is broken. There is not a human on this earth who has not hurt, who is not damaged or in pain.

Yes, we all have been broken, but we didn’t have to keep being broken. For fear of our greatness, so we continue living in mediocrity, putting bandages over our wounds.

We decided that it’s better to be alone, to be fiercely independent, because at least we’re in control; we can’t be abandoned.

Fear of abandonment is a vicious cycle.

It’s not our job to play the part.  We are trying to fix an original problem that we didn’t cause but we been given the responsibility.

Are we all  Doomed?Of course not! The very best thing about life is that at any given moment, the human being can change. They can say, "I've had about enough of this," and make a concerted effort to change their lives. Without support and guidance, this can happen. Once you can let go of that fear, you will feel as though a huge weight has been lifted off of your chest. 

How to Survive it all...        

-**-  Heal thyself; Take 100% responsibility for your own recovery. Become your own validator. You are strong -  and now the worst has happened. Yet we live. We survive. We can go on. We have hope. We can live beyond expectations - conquering each day.

-**-  Cleanse old wounds: The future has been disrupted by the heartbreaks, the hurt and the only safe thing left to do is to fight for now. When your painful thoughts intrude, return to the moment, favouring now as your only habitat. 

-**- Feelings are not facts: Feelings are temporary and fleeting. 

Moving on from fear....

Fear can feel very real and very painful. It takes a lot of courage for someone to be willing to face their fears. We believe that you are strong enough.

Thank you so much for visiting.

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