Heaven is falling

The year was 2015 and I was in heaven. My experience may differ from the norm. I did not have the out of body experience. Neither a sound, huge nor booming like a glorious chant, coming down from angels. Nevertheless, it felt real. I was in heaven. I felt loved and cherished. A sense of nothing to fear, and I could do no wrong.

But Like most things in life, they don’t last long. It doesn’t happen all at the same time, it is gradual. And then one day….it’s all gone.

To me, after working most of my life to build this giant glasshouse that was my career. In fact, at the time I had two jobs, a house to sleep in, a fast car. I was in heaven.

 Is your life fading?

Life too doesn’t escape the temporary nature of everything. It will too fade away like everything else. Every day is another step away from life. Life is hard, there is no going around that. No one can escape that.

I lost everything because I made bad choices based on limited information and pleasure. But it’s always bad that feels so good.

It hurts, I remember how on some days just putting one foot in front of the other was so hard. It's hard when you are despairing to see a light at the end of the tunnel. I didn’t want to hear any motivational speeches of when one door closes others will open. But, it literals does!! Right now everything can feel like Hell on earth, if not, give it a little time. Maybe, days, months or years if you are lucky.

I've created my own living hell on earth, what do I do?

I was there packing my things in the card boxes with tears in my eyes. Then the moment of realisation sets in, “my life is actually falling apart”. I am moving out of this apartment, starting a whole new journey.

But like most things in this multi-universe it never happens all at once, its incremental, day-by-day, decision-after-decision.

For some you the moment might not be as dramatic as mine, you may be inside a bus, in the toilet, watching tv, laughing whilst crying. Nevertheless, heaven is falling and hell is let loose. You tried so hard to stop it, you tell yourself to be brave but you realise how truly powerless you really are.

Holding onto hope. I had no idea how much the word “hope” would become even more tangible to me but I found myself submerse in it.

           .....................................We must accept finite disappointment but never lose infinite hope. Martin Luther King, Jr.

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